I Support You Pumpkin Eater Barnett

barnett1It will be easy to criticize John Barnett over what is being alleged as a positive drug test that is going to remove him as Fedor’s opponent in what is likely the final Affliction card.

Cheater cheater pumpkin eater.  I get it.  It’s wrong.  Bad Josh.

But let’s hold on a second here before we rush to judgment and look at the circumstances leading up to this heinous crime. 

What would you do if you were Josh Barnett?  Well, I can tell you what I would do.

It would start with the obligatory media attention for the fight.  “Oh I’m gonna get you Fedor.  I’m gonna whoop your ass Babyface style.”

Then when the interview ended I would call a friend and ask him if he knew how to get to Mexico.  We would fly there, find the nearest pharmacy and I would put down my credit card and ask them to empty the shelves for me.  Anything that said “testosterone” or “big muscles” or “make you big big man with giant penis” would be on the grocery list.

When the pharmacist asked if I really wanted all of these drugs I would say “Yes, I’m fighting Fedor Emelianenko in a few months.”   The shopkeeper would the go in to the back room and bring out the good stuff.

I would then ask him for the largest syringe they carry and I would go home and inject it all through my eyes at once, hoping for quick uptake.
 
I would tell everyone that I was not at the time and have never in the past used steroids.  That would be against the rules.  I would have my fingers crossed behind my back at the time to make it ok.

When they produced my credit card receipt from the Mexican pharmacy I would say it is a forgery and blame Mastercard.

I would have a team of people researching how many “accidental” strikes to the groin you could get away with before being disqualified. 

My corner team would be Gilbert Yvel, Pete Rose and Rosie Ruiz.
 
Alternatively, I could just train and show up and stand in the ring against Fedor on an even playing field.

Call me a cheater if you want…but don’t call me stupid.

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